It's Lonely At the Top
by stetsonblack
Summary: Harvey contemplates his relationship status after his fight with Scottie.


**Should be sleeping but instead I wrote a little introspection about Harvey's relationships. Spoilers up to "_Moot Point". _And no, I haven't abandoned _Face Down_, if anyone is wondering. It's just being a *&%$# right now. Hope you enjoy this little ficlet in the meantime.**

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"You_ can't have it both ways, Harvey."_

The soft sounds of jazz weighed heavily on Harvey as he sipped at his Scotch. It was late into the night now, coming on early morning, and the lights in the Pearson Specter building were mostly dark.

He recognized the irony of the moment, the way his conversation with Scottie had mirrored the one he'd had with Louis earlier. But he couldn't appreciate it with any sense of humor. And to think today had been a good day.

Louis. It was always Louis. The man didn't know when to quit, when to back down, to accept defeat. But then neither did Harvey. He supposed in that regard they were similar. No, he couldn't blame Louis for this. It was...

_Mike_, he thought in resignation as he turned his chair to look out at the dark and speckled skyline of Manhattan. It always came back to Mike. He was the root of his troubles. He should never have hired him, for so many reasons.

The record stopped playing and Harvey sighed and stood to replace it with another. He had returned to the office because he hadn't wanted to stay in his apartment and think about the fight he'd had. The sacrifices he kept making.

He pulled a record from the shelf and set it on the spindle, and froze when he realized what he had picked. It was his father's. What did Donna always say? He only played that when he was really in trouble.

Mike came to mind instantly. Why couldn't he cut the kid away? He had tried. Almost succeeded, too. Back when Mike had betrayed him. And then Scottie had come along and he'd latched on to her.

He wanted her, both physically and romantically. A part of him always had, ever since Harvard. She had been the Selina Kyle to his Batman. He always thought that with Scottie he had met his match. Right up until the day he interviewed "Rick Sorkin" in the Chilton Hotel and Mike had bested him in a mere half minute. And ever since then Harvey had been in some strange state of agony and ecstasy.

Mike caused him infinite headaches, disappointment, and frustration, not to mention the constant fear of them losing their jobs. But Mike was also...well, _Mike_. He was brilliant and daring and tough. And instead of Selina Kyle he'd found his Robin.

Or so he'd told himself. But today had been different. Even with all the times Harvey had had to save his ass so far, Mike was quickly learning to handle things on his own. The whole Hardman problem had been solved because of Mike, and the trial with Stemple had been because of Mike, too. Mike wasn't Robin. He was a new Batman. The Terry McGinnis to his Bruce Wayne.

He set the needle on his father's record and stood over the record player. The sound always made him melancholy. It reminded him that his only family was down in Boston, and they hardly ever exchanged words much less saw each other. He had Donna, of course, but he supposed if he were to place her in his weird Gotham metaphor then she was Oracle.

_Gotham metaphor?_ he asked himself. It was Mike's influence again and as he focused on his reflection in the glass of the window he could see the smile on his face.

They had almost lost Mike just a week ago. This time it had really been too close. It was why he'd gone to Louis, why he was going through with his favor for him, and why he was willing to do so even if it meant he'd lose Scottie.

Because it meant Mike would stay at Pearson Specter. Because it meant Mike would stay with Harvey.

But no matter what the outcome had been, Harvey still didn't really have him. Because Mike had Rachel now. When Harvey hadn't come through for him at first the man had gone to Rachel. Listened to her advice instead of looking to Harvey. He forced himself to believe that he was happy for them. Happy that Mike had found someone who loved him and knew his secret—one that he could love in return.

"But I knew it first," he said with bitterness.

His father's saxophone moaned a low and noir phrase, and Harvey felt his heart ache. The most they could be was what they were now. And maybe it wasn't the best for him, but it was the best for _Mike_.

So he would continue as he had been. He would keep his distance as much as he could manage, and he would try to make things work with Scottie.

He watched the sun rise and thought of her, of how to fix things. Of what he could say to Louis. Of cases he had to work on. But mostly, he thought of how Mike would be in soon. And it brought a small, pained smile to his face.

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**Reviews welcome. This was edited around 4:20 AM, so I apologize for any glaring writing issues. Feel free to notify me of any. :)**


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